Couples sometimes misidentify the need for validation with the need to be agreed with. Validation is invaluable – we deeply crave to feel heard, valued, and cared for in our relationships. Especially when we are upset or confused, validation is the foundation of any meaningful communication.
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Commitment is often thought of as an event, rather than an ongoing process or practice. We make an overarching commitment such as living together, or getting married – yet there are many smaller commitments every day that determine the success of our relationship and personal happiness. Commitment is a process that evolves and changes over time – it’s more accurately thought of as a series of re-commitments, than as one big decision toward an outcome. Personally, I find this approach quite refreshing. If things go sideways in any area of my relationship, I look squarely at what happened and I re-commit to a new set of choices from where I am.